Ever heard success stories about long-distance relationships? Like some of the happiest couples you know are in a long-distance relationship? Has it ever marvelled to you how that is even possible? Well, you’re not alone. I hear success stories about long-distance relationships on a regular basis. In fact, Most experts even think it’s really healthy for a relationship to begin when two people live in different places.
Did you know the time apart, the distance makes a relationship better. Like having the time to miss him or her, to remember why you wanted to be with him or her in the first place.
However, When people meet and are infatuated with each other, it is generally thought that the initial surge of emotion lasts longer when the couple is separated. Eventually, there is a risk of decreasing affection, and for those who are beyond the infatuation phase, there is a greater risk in separation, but also a greater potential benefit.
The statistics on long-distance relationships are encouraging. According to a 2013 study from the Journal of Communication, approximately three million Americans live apart from their spouse at some point during their marriage. 75% of college students have been in a long-distance relationship at one time or another. Research has even shown that long-distance couples tend to have the same or more satisfaction in their relationships than couples who are geographically close. And higher levels of dedication to their relationships and fewer feelings of being trapped.
Of course, long-distance relationship problems exist, but if two people are committed to making it work the outlook isn’t bleak. We talked to experts about how to overcome some of the hardships of loving from afar and for long-distance relationship tips. Read On!
Technology Is Your Best Friend
Long-distance relationship are easier now than ever because we have so many ways to stay connected thanks to technology.
A lot of the glue of a relationship is in the day-to-day minutia, and with technology, you can share that in real-time, instantaneously, with photos, texts and FaceTime. That’s very different from letters or long-distance phone calls. Also, because people in long-distance relationships rely more heavily on technology to stay connected, in some ways tech allows them to communicate verbally even more than couples who see each other [often], but sit in the same room not interacting at all.
An expert also advises that it’s important to share details with your partner instead of just generalizations. For example, don’t just say, “I went to this dinner and had a great time.” Instead, really delve into the details. Talk about who was there, what you talked about, what you ate and how it made you feel. It will make the everyday come alive for your partner even though they weren’t there to witness it.
Stay Committed to the Long-distance relationship
This applies to everyone involved in long-distance relationships but is particularly true for people pursuing long-distance relationships in college. It’s important to know how truly committed a person before wasting precious time. For instance, if you’re in college, really truly think about if you love this person, and if they’re worth foregoing being single in college. The importance of being single in college is that you get to experiment and test the waters to determine what you really want and need in a relationship. So many people that just go through the motions of a long-distance [relationship] and fritter away their college years.
If you choose to stay in a long-distance relationship in college it’s imperative that you have a plan for what happens next and that you both work towards that goal. That’s another reason that going long distance in college can be hard. It’s daunting to have to plan your future around another person when you hardly know what your own future holds.
After surviving four years apart try your best to end the distance after college. Ideally, you both end up working in the same city after graduation. Long-distance relationships that are going to stand the test of time need a plan to end the distance at some point.
Do Stuff Together Even Though You’re Apart
Just because you aren’t physically in the same place doesn’t mean you can’t have fun together. Plan a movie night together via Skype where you can watch the same movie even when you’re in different places.
Netflix, or other streaming services, makes it easier than ever to binge-watch shows with your partner. I also recommend doing online quizzes or games together and discussing the results to spark new and interesting conversations.
Make Fun Plans
Delight in the details of what the two of you will do the next time you see each other. Plan your next weekend together. Make it a ritual to talk about the fun things you’ll do together. Maybe you can decide that every night you’re together, you’ll try new restaurants instead of going to the same places. This will create something that both partners can look forward to.
However, scheduling “good night video calls” when you’re both your PJs can create a sense of going to bed together.
Be Confident in your long-distance relationship
Insecurity can lead to one partner checking in on the other one too often. For instance, excessive calls and texts sent for the wrong reasons can lead to unnecessary tension.
The constructive reason couples communicate is to provide their partners with a sense of their lives and what’s important to them. When the communication is hijacked by insecurity, the anxious partner will not be reassured, and the other partner will be turned off by the constant checking [in]. It needs to be at a level agreeable to both parties.
Check this out: 10 Tips to spice up your romantic relationship
Stick to a Schedule
Timing matters, especially when your time together is precious. To keep long-distance relationships going you need to actually see one another. Know when you’re going to see each other and be able to trust that the other person will stick to that plan.
Set Clear Rules and Boundaries
Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want the other person to see on social media, an experts advises.
He adds that you should do your best to stay out of situations that might make your long-distance partner feel uncomfortable or threatened — within reason. You don’t need to check-in before or get approval for every social interaction with your partner. But you can set clear boundaries and rules that work for both of you and adhere to them.
