The beginning of a relationship is usually associated with a powerful emotional high when a person is happy and it can be easy to overlook that he or she is getting into a relationship that will not bring him or her happiness later on.
In what is known as a toxic relationship. But what are they and how can you recognize them early on?
What is a toxic relationship?
These are interpersonal relationships (couples, family, or friendships) that are based on the suffering of one or even both parties, which can manifest in different ways.
In many cases, they lead to abusive situations with physical or psychological violence. By the way, many experts recommend relieving stress through games.
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In a toxic relationship, one of the partners, or even both partners at once, harms the other party. This harming can be conscious or unconscious, which can make it difficult to identify.
Signs of a toxic relationship
There are many signs that allow us to determine whether or not we are facing a toxic relationship. Here are just the most common and obvious ones.
This word came from the title of the 1944 American film Gaslight. In Russian translation, this film is called Gaslight.
Despite the year of release, this film and now looks in one breath and has high audience ratings.
Now this term has become a noun and is often used in psychology.
It means a form of psychological violence, when the manipulator makes the other believe in something that was not really there, for example, can say “I did not say that we will go to dinner tonight, you made it up”, although in fact, he said it.
Of course, in many cultures the idea of inequality is already embedded, there are countries where patriarchy is pronounced, and there are countries where matriarchy is more pronounced.
But usually, interpersonal relationships are not greatly affected by this, and in most countries some degree of equality is accepted in interpersonal relationships.
If one party in your relationship is clearly dominant, forcing the other party to submit to literally everything, then this is a clear sign of toxicity.
Control and jealousy
There should be healthy jealousy, and there should be some control. After all, indifference is also bad, but more on that below.
However, jealousy and control should be in moderation. There is nothing wrong when one partner calls the other and asks what he is doing.
The problem starts when this attention becomes too much. If calls go literally every hour, although the partner at this time is at school or at work and can not talk normally, it is already an unhealthy attitude.
With excessive control, the dominant person will control literally every step of his or her victim: what he or she does, what he or she wears, what he or she eats, with whom he or she communicates.
Fear of anger is present
Fear can be present even if physical violence has never been used.
When a relationship is based on the fear that one party feels towards the other, rather than love, affection or trust, this is another sign of a toxic relationship.
People who are subservient to others tend to avoid conflict and are often unable to say “no” to situations they disagree with, or to voice their own opinions on any issue.
Constant search for recognition
Constantly seeking approval from another person is a sign of emotional dependency. In a healthy relationship, our self-esteem is not as dependent on the other person’s opinion. In a toxic relationship, this dependence becomes excessive.
Intransigence on the part of the partner
In a toxic relationship, one party usually doesn’t tolerate disagreement or accept “no” as an answer. All of this can easily escalate to abuse, humiliation, and even aggression and violence.
When the person with whom you are in a relationship is not interested in you at all, it is quite possible that you are simply not interested in him as a person.
And he just uses you for his own selfish purposes, without intending to give you something in return.
But with this sign you need to be careful. It is quite possible that the man fell into depression, and it is at this point he really needs your support.
If you see the above signs, it is a reason to think about it. It is good if you are not yet so much in love, then the bitterness of parting will not be too great.
Toxic relationships are better to identify as early as possible and avoid them. If you see that your relationship is not quite what it should be, then you have two ways to go:
Talk to your partner, explain to them what you don’t like and what you would like to change in your relationship.
Simply break up with this person. If you look at your partner in a new way and begin to notice that he is not someone you would like to communicate with, it is better to break this relationship.
There is a third way, which is to seek the help of a professional psychologist who will help you.